A Bittersweet Nap

To recall these memories, a long ancient memories is something i shouldn’t done. The truth is, it is like a long destructive nap, yet, from time to time you can only keep reminding yourself, how vivid and real it is. This, for me, is a sort of punishment and curse to have.

Sometime in the past i met a figure that would turn my life inside out, a creature that would make me feel how it is like to be a human, a lively human. It was an unfortunate event, i always said so to myself, it wasn’t meant to be, i was sure of it. I hate to admit it all, but one must be honest, at least to themself.

The details are vague, for some reasons, i believe i purposely rewire my mind to do so. The sweet, ecstatic memories are almost gone completely, but it’s still there, lingering, waiting to be found by my melancholic state of mind. To caress her plum cheek, to tuck her hair behind the ear, to grasp her divine neck, then, not forgetting her eyes, those chaotic eyes, eyes that could capture the birth and death of a star, all of those, are something i always remember, at least until now, until this soul, my soul, slowly drifting away from these memories, it’s almost there i know it, from nothing to nothingness.

I’m sorry to every creature i met in the past, i was not my best self, i was not ready to become human, i was not ready to live, ’tis is my best excuse.